Saturday, October 18, 2014

Daddy's girl?
(begun Wednesday 8th October at 10.25am)

How shall I irritate thee today? Let me count the ways...
Shall I speak of the organised mischief-making Planners, huddled together up at SAPS Sydenham? Shall I tell you how I've just learned that my Honourable Vice Chair's Audi brakes had failed, the day before he'd left to go abroad?
I only got the basics, and the fact that he's due to ask his mechanic how such a thing could happen to a vehicle that is well looked after, but I would hope you're paying attention.
The Thuggees had moved their focus from his feet and throat in the weeks prior to his departure, to his jawline. Sound familiar? Lymphglands perhaps? Whatever. His GP had been unable to explain the cause of the problem, and it had persisted up until he'd left the country. He says he'd had a mind to visit some sort of specialist while in the US, in an attempt to diagnose and treat this latest ailment, but as luck would have it, he'd had not so much as a twinge of pain, once he'd left our sunny shores.
Would a medic trained to recognise the symptoms of over- exposure to radiation have been able to assist the good man? How fortunate for Mr. van Zyl's Superiors then, that there are no such qualified specialists in South Africa at present, and the quantum laser recruits may continue to employ this vicious and unseen means of torture to their targets, without fear of getting caught.
Dozens upon dozens of you sit on his Facebook page purporting to be his Friends, and yet you are too cowardly to take him aside and fill him in on the 'merits' of this world-changing technology. Why is that?
Do your orders expressly forbid you to Share this wondrous secret with the good man? A man who would add value to anything he supported?
Could it be that the authorities fear my VC's outspoken and articulate speech? That were he to be made fully aware of the total removal of the SA population's right to privacy and good health by the quantum laser /wireless technology, and the ongoing scale of corruption to the power and waterlines necessary to achieve this goal, he might just rock the comfortable gravy boat that so many of you wallow in?
Despite that there's been not so much as a drop of rain since yesterday's appalling heat, my quantum 'Protectors' have seen fit to reintroduce the squeaking 'insect' signal enhancer nearby. The worst of the physical assaults to my person have been somewhat tempered this morning, and I've no idea whether it's due to the squeaky enhancer or to the fact that Agent Balliram's eldest may be elsewhere occupied on this lovely cool day.
I've got that bit wrong, Missus B? For all your sakes, I certainly hope so.
Wednesday 8th October 2014 at 12.27pm.