Missed call..
(begun Tuesday 23rd October at 6.10am..)


That a man may be judged by how he treats his animals is a non-negotiable fact, but one that many of you choose to overlook when allowing your youngsters to sign up for Hacking lessons with Collin P. Balliram... *doesn't bother wondering why..
It's as plain as the ruddy nose on your face that his total disregard for animals would include the human race as well, and yet even that warning flag didn't raise so much as a blip on your radar screen...
There'd been a letter in one of the local newspapers yesterday, saying how the love and protection of animals was built into the Hindu wedding vows, and that the writer was offended by the suggestion that the use of fireworks over Diwali was regarded by many as thoughtless and downright cruel...  It's the same old silliness tossed around every year at this time, and to suggest that all Hindus are as deliberately callous and cruel as our Area Controller would be ridiculous in the extreme.. *looks at the developmentally-challenged Knob...

So, tellus dear, what's your favourite firework of them all?  The thunderous and said-to-be banned Indian Kings, that rattle the windowpanes when they explode, or those piercing whistling rockets that reduce the nearby animal population to juddering wrecks, and cause them to leap their boundary walls before often meeting their messy end on the freeway?  *interested...
After roughly fourteen years of living in such close proximity to you and yours, I guess I'm more than qualified to say that those particularly devastating examples of pyrotechnics are what will fill your shopping basket in the weeks to come...  Will you revel in the spotlight this year, and arrange for an hours-long display from your front deck, or will you restrict yourself to lurking about your property tossing Indian Kings about randomly, while your family are off elsewhere, attending other celebrations?

Will you see to it that Alex at No. 2 is given a large quantity of those vile creations and be ordered to set them off, while you watch with interest via satellite to see how Thunder survives the terrifying noise?  Eh - I know you well my boy, and your stomach-churning behaviour leaves me cold...  The animals here in the Zone are set to suffer as much, if not more than other areas during Diwali and Guy Fawkes, as the Organised Crime units will go out of their way to provide light entertainment for the troops.   Nothing quite like the mischief and misery that can be achieved in a neighbourhood through the judicious use of a box full of noisy fireworks, is there, Master mine?
Your personal Manager tried and failed to explain to you the pitfalls of revealing your true character to the world, and in particular, your cruelty towards animals... As a confirmed and self-gratifying sadist, her words would've rolled off your back like so much water....

Once again, this is nothing personal, but merely an observation that as the ranks of the Yellow Army continue to swell, so will the acts of cruelty to both animals and human beings increase... Toughen up or fall by the wayside, not so Janneman? *winks... This brave young army that's set to take the population through to the New Age, is peopled by rank upon rank of seriously dysfunctional cowards, who'll stop at nothing to satisfy their schadenfreude, just as the Experiment Authors had planned.. *heaves...
Colourful hyperbole?  I think not, little man... If anything, I understate the situation, as you well know...

LATER at 11.10am

I was crossing the front lawn from the bird-feeder when the now ubiquitous sound of his triple-woop! remote rang out.. And again, I no longer think he requires a proxy lurking in der Bunker to activate that zoom-in enhancement option, but that he jumps into his own system from whatever location he's at, once the little NAT devices have alerted him to my position, and that's what causes that unmistakable sound.. *belches...
Have you been told that it takes a lifetime of practise to become even half as adept as Balliram at hurting people and running away?  More lies.. He's had eight years in which to perfect his use of this supposedly covert technology, and yet he still hasn't got a clue, as he thuds about announcing his presence loudly.. *eyeroll.. A standard that could be reached and overtaken by a vervet in a month, given the opportunity.
Were I to go up after dark and stand quietly next to the Polo, it's guaranteed only minutes would pass before the car gives a noisy thud (only slightly less than it makes when the GW uses his remote to lock or unlock the vehicle), and the Sadist is up there next to me, nose and ears extended to their fullest..

How much fun was had down at City Hall when all the old Department's names were changed, and were given incomprehensible titles instead, making in nearly impossible to pick up the phone and achieve your goal with one call?  The telephone directory is now filled with errors, and the Muni and Government sections could all safely go under the title of Ministry of Extreme Silliness... Another Special Unit you created Julie May?  To further muddy the waters?  *applauds Ms. Ellingson..
Many of the activities indulged in by your specially created Units would, no doubt about it, fall under criminal behaviour, and yet there you are, up with the worst of them, insisting that the laser/wireless Experiment is for the GOOD of mankind...
And here's me, choking on your collective dust, with warnings that come way too late to change anything...

The manipulation of the Press?  Dearlord, did any of you get to see the article in a recent newspaper on the cause and treatment of chronic backpain, and the suggestion that it was all mostly in the mind?  Try telling that to Sue the Book or B.Jnr and see if you don't get kicked in the nuts... The Artful Dodger now has the means to take a pre-existing condition and to run through his box of frequency tricks until he finds the one that can exacerbate your discomfort a hundred-fold... Neat, hey? *vomits..

Wednesday 24th October at 3.05am

I do believe I've already blogged how unlikely it is that the Twat next door ever encountered the word NO in  his youth... That as a child, he would've only had to crease his face into a frown for the wimmen of the house to cater to his every whim... Sue me if I've got it wrong, but my word, even pushing middle-age, Balliram comes across as a spoiled and petulant brat... *eyeroll...
What is it with the attacks at around 1 or 2am in the mornings?  Is that when he thinks Tamara is too deeply asleep that she won't notice what he's up to?  *baffled...
He must have jabbed me awake at 2.20am, and I'd gone for a pee and climbed back into bed.. That didn't suit the Monster at all, and suddenly the BF rocketed, and I could feel him poking at my lower back with his cattle prod... I heard a dog stirring in the lounge and went through to cover them, and I'm darned if the Chop didn't chase after me and poke me again as I stood by the sofa...

Is der Bunker thick with the stench of weed right now, and if he's not smoking some serious shit, has he in truth fried one too many of his brain cells?  *fascinated... Just before I'd given up and gotten up, a silver laser beam shot across the bedroom between the wardrobe and the opposite wall, and again I'm reminded of a bullying short-changed-in-the-head thug, desperate at all costs to remind me who's the Boss.  *chokes..
Those texts I'd been forced to send out to the Housewives League at 1.55am yesterday morning?
The ones that had read 'Horrific wireless  in ours now at 1.55am'?  I tell myself that at least three of the four recipients understood them the minute they'd arrived, but sadly, Missus Courageous had decided she didn't, and at 5.30pm yesterday evening a text came in from her saying the now lame 'Hi. Who is this?'  I'd replied immediately with 'After 14 years and countless texts? Jane'.   Lordknows what time her 'Network' allowed my reply to reach her, if at all, but if I'd hoped she would call me, it was a fail....

She was a fixture on efnet's #trivia channel forever, and I'd be astonished if she didn't still hang out on the IRC channels, creating alibis for her husband's disgusting behaviour... Shame...
Would my Good Neighbour recognize Tamara's online nick if she bumped into her on the Sherwood Network, as she loyally defended her SO's criminal activities, and attempted to have her peers believe he's a good guy?
How long ago did I warn the Chop's Handlers that he was fast becoming more than just a liability, and I was shouted down and reminded sharply and painfully of my place?
A pattern that will be followed ad infinitum, as one by one the last remaining heroes are converted to join the Yellow Army...

I'd caught more than just the tiny rectangular Permanent Force member trying to hide his presence up by the ceiling fan in the lounge last night at 6.59pm HERE... Will you check out the spheres hanging by the other fan HERE? *eyeroll... Don't bother to dispute their veracity, as they're all dated and time-stamped...
I'd netted amazingly few orbs outside in the rain, and I question where the gung-ho employment of Stefanus Roux's laser showers has gone... Sure, when you zoom in to those dark pictures I took, several reveal those eerie moons floating in the background, but for the most part they were thin on the ground, given the ideal conditions.. *really interested...
Like I said before Jannie, if I never catch another one, I have five cards full of the little buggers to keep me happy...

While the nearby birds verify that on their own the orbs seem perfectly harmless, that's not the point. The point is that those pictures are irrefutable evidence of an uninvited and illegal presence in and around our property, and baby, you can't take that away from me... *singing...
Turns out the Telecom's Strategist and his thuggee Monkey are more alike than Short-Round would probably care to admit, and I was hardly surprised to hear that the Mast Fighter was badly assaulted via her powerlines yesterday morning.. *vomits...
How long ago was it that I'd attempted to tell the charming Assistant Secretary of the Sparks Estate CPF of our Area Controller's shockingly abusive behaviour, and she'd replied unhesitatingly that that sort of thing would give the Project a bad name? *chokes...

Way too late to worry about such niceties now, as these bullying thugs reveal their true natures, and continually unleash these techno weapons on the innocent.. Shhh!  Don't move a muscle and they won't notice you cowering there in your corner.. Let those mouthy Idiots take the fall for your errors of judgement, and you'll hopefully live to tell the tale...*nauseated..
Peace..

---oOo---

Wednesday 24th October 2012 at 9.02am.