BLACKMAIL...
(begun Saturday 6th November at 4.45am...)

After years of traditionally hosting the CPF/SAPS end-of-year function here, it's to be in Asherville this year… *sits up….
Not a bad idea at all, and without the convicted Felon’s presence, it could turn out to be great fun… *applauds…

Last year Guy Fawkes and Diwali were pretty civilised affairs in our neck of the woods… Last night, not so much….
By 9.30pm it was hard to tell whether it was mist or smoke that filled the valley, as Mr. Unfortunate next door went all out to create a war zone…. If it wasn’t quite so tragic for the local canines, I guess you could see some sort of grim humour in the situation…
I'm guessing the two or three hours worth of bombs that Balliram activated last night were donated by his Backers?  Hopefully his young daughters weren't home to see him disgrace himself even further..*eyeroll….
There was to be no sitting out on our verandah, ooing and aahing at the beautiful displays all round us.. Rather, it was kevlar on, and hunker down in the trenches till he'd expended both his supplies of explosives and of spite… *blinks…

I rang No. 4 just before 10pm to make sure I'd got it right.. Monty the Tenant had already let them know earlier that Thunder had gone crazy with fear and was foaming at the mouth and bleeding..
They should have made a plan…?  How?  On these tiny properties set cheek by jowl, what do you do with your big outdoor dogs when you're unfortunate enough to have a neighbour like Colin P. Balliram?  *shrugs….
The GW went out and got tranquilisers this year… Premonition?    Fark knows if they helped, but I guess their humans felt a bit better.. Fat Sophie thought she'd milk it to the hilt, but I mostly just reminded her waspishly that they were among the lucky ones, and that her good friend Nobby and his many friends were outside, facing that barrage alone and unprotected… *barfs….

I guess it wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say it was a shocker, and pretty much the clincher showing just how far over the edge the Abuser’s Assistant has gone… The extent of our Area Controller's behaviour had me shaking my head in disbelief.. He'd set off a series of huge explosions and then he'd hastily activate the noisy transmitter/receiver right outside our lounge window to try and catch our audible comments… *eyeroll..
Seriously… You'd think the local insect population would have gone dead quiet at the thunderous noises, but our resident entomologist was either too goofed, or too enraged to give a toss…*grins..

The entire evening was a series of *boom!* *Cue grasshopper sawing away outside our window*, and *boom!* And repeat… *chokes… Of course we let him down badly in the reaction department as well… Neither of us said anything much in response to the detonations, and once I'd whacked Sophie about the head with a rolled-up newspaper, even her hysterics subsided… *winks…

LATER at 6.15am…

He was waiting for me when I walked into the kitchen about fifteen minutes ago.. As I crossed past the wall -jack a great stab of pain hit my lower spine and vanished.. Nice try Jerkoff…*claps…
I've been in and out of the kitchen since 4.45am without a problem, so there was no error in the buildup, was there, dear?  *winks at His Vileness….
You're trying for a rerun of the fantastic success you achieved with my friend over at Dean Park?  Sure you are, and I predict that in a house this small, my luck is going to run out eventually, and I'm going to go down like a ton of bricks…*grins..

I guess the Crumb and Nayager between them, share a brain?
In their wisdom, they’ve decided that by hitting their own repeatedly, it will in some way fool the residents into believing there is no street surveillance technology up and running, at all… Don’t you bloody believe it!   *falls over choking…
Every miniscule transmitter/receiver saturating the properties round about is functioning the same as always, at key commands, as with the invisible cameras..
Was it just last week they got away with laptops and cellphones at Freddie the Accountants up at No. 12?  Or was it the week before?And yet they came back for a retry yesterday?  *squints…
This time, their two dogs had been barking for ages, but nobody ever pays them attention as that’s the norm…

Sorry if your friend Nayager didn’t tell you of their latest genius plan in advance Fred, but here – you can take this rolled up newspaper and whack the One-Eyed Sex Pest about his ugly head if you like..*grins..
It's another FAIL, and I'm here to tell you that the technology dotted about my home and garden is all working noisily as usual, so what's the excuse for the others being de-activated?  You're keeping a load of cash in your wardrobe?? Geez Fred!  Why would that be common knowledge, unless you were part of a set-up?  *roffels.. Ooops?
Not the sort of info you casually let slip, now is it Fred?  Not unless you WANT uninvited guests?

Can I guess?  *jumps up and down…. The would-be ‘thieves’ were told to come in from the valley side this time, and to ignore the dogs barking.. They were to go to a window easily overlooked by No. 14 and to make a great deal of noise in their efforts to break in.. Once they were sure Missus Plumber next door had spotted them, they could safely do a runner?  How'm I doing here Laz?
I'm told FOUR SAPS vehicles responded… Yikes!  It was just the other day we were told there were only 2 vans available for the entire Zone, but that’s another story…cackles….
As with Balliram’s own hostage drama, the Accountant would have said he didn’t want to know the exact day and time of the second burglary attempt, as a more convincing reaction can be achieved that way..*grins..
As second-class citizens, the women in the house aren't privy to any of these arranged theatricals, and could be justified in regarding their husbands with contempt at this point…*waves to the unfortunate Sweeper…

Did someone get it wrong?  Surely not FOUR SAPS vans?  *bolt-eyed… It begs the question as to whose books Mr. Thunderflash the Accountant is doing, that merits such a dazzling response from Dodge City… Someone mighty influential fosho….  *flaps her broken hand at Major-General Johan Booysen… (Ja ja, gister was hy 'n Brigadier gewees, en more meskien is hy terug na 'n Kolonel…. Dit maak nie saak nie…)

LATER at 7.30am..

And the first of today's bangs goes off across the valley… *belches…
There are now four red bishops feeding regularly at the bird tray, and I guess it's time to chat to Fronk about planting indiginous grasses, to see what else we can attract? 
Two or three of the toads so kindly imported to our garden, still sing out at night, though there's no answering chorus anywhere at all out there in the valley….  I guess it’s the dodgy water that’s driven them away… *shrugs..

Check out my fine palm cluster HERE and see how well it's doing, except for the three or four fronds that fall unavoidably in the path of our outdoor spotlight.. See how just those parts have been burned to a crisp?  What levels of power does Balliram run to cause such damage?  *curious…
The Head of Organised Crime and his ‘Special’ friend the Cracker, have decided to concentrate their efforts on our boundary walls in the valley for a while, and will no doubt have their hirelings sneaking about, waiting for an opportune moment to hop over and cause mischief…

Sunday 7th November at 4.00am..

You know, in retrospect, I've the oddest feeling that Balliram considers his behavour on Friday night to be in some way courageous?  *falls over shrieking with mirth… Did he try and persuade his chommies to keep him company, but got no takers?  You do realise that he was on his own out there, dancing between his laptop and his explosives, as he purposefully terrified the local canine population for hours on end?  *eyeroll… I'd gone to bed just before 10pm, and as I switched my bedside light out, he'd chirruped his remote and shut down the Armoury… *gags…

Last night the GW had the tranquilisers at the ready again, and I'd remarked out loud that I doubted Missus C would recommend he humiliate her for two nights in a row.. Within five minutes of saying that, he'd set off an enormous explosion to prove me wrong… *shaking my head…

Tellus again if you would Mistuh Spence, the criteria required before you hand over power circuits to laymen to control?  Would the ability to pull strings and have you upgraded to Lord High Manager of Anything and Everything Electrical have influenced your decision in any way?  *snarls..
Eh, Al old man, you’ve much to answer for, and I'm not referring to our Area Controller's single-minded vendetta against me, here…
I've proven beyond the shadow of a doubt that there are many other nameless innocents who endure similar treatment via their power supplies, and it's certainly not restricted to our home..

Where are your cojones now Mistuh Spence?  Left and gone away?  Too much to lose, and it wouldn’t change anything anyway?  The most I can hope for is that events have finally wiped the derisive sneer off your red-eyed face, as it becomes increasingly obvious that Intellectuals are not precluded from behaving like Morons… *yawns..
Is there a file sitting next to Sutcliffe's with your name on it?  Have they managed to scrape up anything usable to ensure you keep dancing to their tune?  By now you know as well as I do, that the entire Big Brother Information Theft scheme is nothing more than a gigantic blackmail operation… *sighs..
Got any secrets, folks?  Best you ‘fess up and share them now, before you acquire your own Leverage File…*grins.. Have a grand day,

Peace…

---oOo---

Sunday 7th November 2010 at 10.54am…