Wednesday, January 24, 2007

In the Durban Corruption Awards there are several nominees.
For expertise in the "Looking the Other way While Actively participating in" Category, it was a 3-way race.
And the nominees are:
City Manager Mike Sutcliffe for failing to financially aid a policewoman shot in the line of duty, and for refusing to admit that under his Management Durban has become the least likely choice of tourist destination due to mismanagement of the ever-escalating crime situation.
The 2nd nominee is:
Mr. Howard Whitehead - Purely decorative Head of the Municipality Electricity Department, for knowingly allowing the Municipality Big Brother/Wireless tests to be set up in Sherwood without advising all the residents. For collusion in the purchase of this system/scheme from an extremely dubious source and finally, for failure to acknowledge in any way, several letters written to him regarding the abovementioned Big Brother system. Letters which his personal Secretary, Mrs. Rose Naidoo assured me HAD all been read by him.
and the 3rd nominee is:
Mr. Allen Spence, last known title Superintendent of Electricity, Durban and closely affiliated to the Security Section of the Municipality Electricity Department.
For Producing and Directing the single most corrupt (though undeniably necessary) system to Durban, SA.
For his ongoing humour in stating that he avoids computers when the entire Big Brother system is computerised.
For boldly handing over total control of our Streetlight poles from Jan Smuts Highway up Harris Crescent to the Blind Home and beyond to one Prakash Balliram, aka Collin Balliram, aka Collin Moodliar of 6 Harris Crescent, Sherwood - a lay person unqualified in the field of Electrical Engineering.
For his magnificent self-denial in the matter of Basil Arendse (4 Harris Cres.) being trapped full-on twice during the tests, while working outside in his garden causing him to be hospitalised on both occasions to have his brain drained of sudden fluid-build up due to extreme pressure.
For his no doubt oft-used throwaway line - "What me worry? Show me proof!"
For his sheer audacity at rigging up a Catholic orphanage and school with poorly monitored EMF equipment.
For turning a blind eye to suggestions that his choice of Controller residing at 6 Harris Crescent may have been an error.*
and the Winner is:
Mr. Allen Spence - Superintendent of Electricity, Durban!!
A marvellous achievement and up against formidable competition! Well done Allen!
*Our electricity supply is once again showing constant visible dips in the system and the spin-dryer problem mentioned in my previous blog? I waited til dear Bali had left this morning before hauling out the washing machine and doing the laundry with NO trouble at all.
In other words - His magnificence merely isolated the jackpoint over the weekend as he sat sullenly in his shut up air conditioned palace next door and surged that point until the auto safety device on the washing machine kicked in. He even got the GameWrecker down on his knees with the back of the machine off *cacklin......
Basically, a typical example of pettiness and lack of responsibility shown by this rising star. Course, if there hadnt been an overheating protection switch, he would just as happily have taken the machine out permanently as he has done over the past 8 years to electric phones, kettles, computers etc. A charming means of ongoing revenge and totally unprovable.
Mention out loud that there is a specific programme you would like to watch on TV? Eh - if overheard you can bet on sound or visual problems just during that particular program. Lame.