Monday, December 04, 2006

Once upon a time, there was a family living right next to the Freeway and Jan Smuts Highway here in Sherwood, with Direct Line of Sight to the existing Cellmast, St. Theresa's Orphanage and the Freeway Bridge.
Mr. Mohamed was a businessman and often away from home. To his dismay, a few years after they had moved in, they were targeted by criminals. He tried everything but to no avail.
In 2005 Mr. Mohamed was approached by someone (a Municipality representative?) and asked to house a wireless system setup which the Muni droogs would instal and monitor. In return for this he was guaranteed a crime free future at his address at No. 2 Harris Crescent and other perks as well. One of which would have been a wireless internet connection 24/7.
He was also warned at some point about the interfering, gossiping old toad living up at No. 8. He was told that absolutely noone should know about the wireless setup, especially not the toad.
And it came to pass that the droogs swarmed onto his property just before the 2005 Comrades Marathon, laid their fibre optic cables and set up the wireless system in a safe room and it was duly activated.
A happy time indeed for Mr. Mohamed as they even gave him his own GateKeeper who kept watch and protected them further.
NOT such a happy time for Basil at No. 4, or for the toad at No. 8, or for the maid at No. 10 Harris Crescent. While they were testing the setup from Mr. Mohameds property, they sent repeated waves up the valley eventually causing such a pressure build-up that, on November l5th 2005, while in dead Line of Sight between Mr. Mohameds house and Collin Ballirams house at No. 6 (the system Controller), Basil collapsed in his front garden with no warning. He was found to have fluid buildup on the brain which was successfully drained. The toad, who daily sat outside, also in direct Line of Sight, was feeling the affects as well....
Waves of nausea and useless, dead hands. Ringing in her ears and the cordless phone refusing to work where she sat. This ill feeling persisted and once again, in about the middle of December, Basil was trapped out in his front garden and collapsed. The same procedure followed.
Frantic adjustments were made to Mr. Mohameds covert system and the tests continued.
The toad often saw the Muni bakkies nipping down to visit No. 2, so eventually she drove herself down one day and chatted to the charming daughter-in-law.
Sadly, Dilshaad denied any knowledge of the arrangement made with the Muni and as the toad had no idea at the time, what exactly it was she searched for, it became a dead-end situation.
This toad was however, quite clear on one matter and told Dilshaad that from now on, every word and action that they made was being monitored and recorded. She pointed out the white box on their telephone pole in the valley and suggested Dilshaad use it for target practise.
She also explained that one could clearly see tiny sensor lights on this box in the dark when it was computer activated.
But of course, the Muni droogs had installed one of their blindingly brilliant decoy lights down there as well so it was doubtful if anyone would notice that the box lit up on occasions.
The repeated chirrup of Mr. Mohameds house alarm was what finally convinced the old toad that she had been correct all along. Well, that and the fact that when she had complained bitterly in 2004 about the 2 white boxes attached to the streetlight poles causing major problems with her house power supply - Mr. Allen Spence (at that time merely the Project Manager of the so-called Highly Technical Computerised Anti-Theft devices, for cable theft he had assured this toad) had promised to move the control of these boxes down to Mr. Mohameds streetlight pole. The very same Mr. Spence who sleeps soundly and dreamlessly at night?
Overall this toad is extremely happy for the Mohamed family at No. 2 Harris Crescent. They are in a position of great power here (pun intended). for, were the facts of their agreement to be made public, Mr. Mohamed could stand to make millions from selling his story. Were the Mohameds ever told that there are many others in the neighbourhood just as lucky?
That there are similar setups at No. 6 and No. 12 and dotted right up throughout the Crescent and Sherwood itself? That No. 24 Garbutt Road was also blessed with the Munis fancy new wireless monitoring system?
The only downside in this fantastic fable is that these happily rewarded helpers don't seem to realise they have lost any vestige of privacy they may had had. This will of course, be denied - but every word said in their house and right up to and on their verges can now be clearly heard via this computerised monitoring system whether they choose to believe it or not.
If they do Not find this a problem, then the toad wishes all these good people well in benefitting from the fruits of their collaboration with the Ethikwine Municipality.
The toad visited No. 14 Harris Crescent recently and after mentioning the new and blinding lights run from Fred the Accountants property at No. 12, to the daughter of the house, these lights have subsequently been left switched off. Instead, rapid changes and alterations were made at Mr. Mohameds house over the weekend. Indeed - the chopper flew over this morning to activate these very changes at 9.00am this morning and again at 12.00noon.
there has yet to be a happy ending for all parties concerned in this techno tale of dodginess.
This meddlesome old toad feels that compensation of at least 200ks is owed to Basil at No. 4 for innocently becoming a victim of the Greed for Informations Machine headed by the now grandly elevated Superintendent for Electricity for Durban, Mr. Allen Spence.
That same Mr. Spence owes Sue the Book at No. 5 a gift of say, 10ks for adding to her health problems and to Penny at no. 10 for the same reasons.
If this fairytale is to have a really happy ending, these amounts must be settled somehow and soon from the billions of rands that are being spent daily on this illegal (for the moment) system.
The day this is done - the toad will be pleased to blog that they ALL lived happily ever after.....
Monday 4th December 2006 at 12.53pm