PREMATURE EJACULATION....

(begun Tuesday 2nd June at 6.20am...)

Its your lucky night! Two posts for the price of one and extreme consternation in the Camp of the Courageous as my phones ring off the hook....! whoohooo!)

I'd given her a call yesterday to ask for an email addie to mail her the CPF Minutes... She was clearly horrified at the suggestion and said that our habit of naming complainants names in our Minutes was unacceptable, and could lead to people getting hurt... When I'd said I wasn't that stupid, her shriek of derisive laughter clearly showed which team she bats for....*sighs...

She said she won't be attending our CPF Meetings again for this reason... I reported her here previously as a gutsy person who had taken on the crooked Council Members at the Budget Meeting, fearlessly... I don't retract my opinion in any way.

My favourable report has very obviously had the vermin crawl out of the woodwork and lean on her heavily.... The less-than-bright heavies that keep the tenants in line with their occasional demonstrations of violence clearly struggle with the written word...*empathises...
My admiration was for her stand taken regarding the servitude needed for the Clinic and not her complacent attitude to the resident drug-dealers...*spits at Waani for starters...

FFS, what makes you think I don't know she's OWNED by your lot? What makes you think (if you can) I don't know that this blog is circulated among the lowest of the scum over that way for their entertainment and always has been? More confirmation that Tweedledumb and his sad Lackey continue the cozy partnership that was begun by Koobair the Squat, now co-ordinator of Druglords for SA... How does my Network Admin explain that both Carol and Baron are privy to my monitored landline and no doubt my cellphones as well? He denies this?

She will remain a hero in my book, for her stand at the Council Meeting... for the rest? She's yours and nothing's changed there...*sighs...
The very fact that these Lowlifes felt the need to remind her of her place, denotes a certain amount of insecurity...
Was mention of the bullet taken by M trotted out to make a point? Course it was...*nods... A waste of time you Plonkers... She is YOUR friend and certainly not mine.... *teeth... Moving on..

In a truly law-abiding society, given just a fraction of the resources and support you lavish on my worthless Chicken King, I wager I could put some serious dents in your choice of Controllers, instead of which I'm doomed to dance the dance of the Demented for your continued mirth and entertainment..*shrieks.... A sensitive ongoing investigation underway at Sydenham Heights? An investigation that's been underway for the past twenty-odd years or more, without getting anywhere near to nabbing the top dude? *bows to Earl Barnabas and his new friends in Government..... Movin on up there Earl? *grins... You finally listening to your little troll and would-be heir? Your natives are getting restless dude...

What worked five years back doesn't quite cut it anymore... If you're not too busy schmoozing with the ShaikBoyz and wallowing in your newly upgraded status, you might check out how much attention your thugs are drawing to themselves, and put a stop to it before they bring you down? I'm joking? No dear... Far greater Empires than yours have crumbled from cracks as seemingly insignificant as these...*shrugs...
Stunningly useful as your share in the control of the Zone has been to the Authors of the Information Theft Project, I would suggest that it could well be your head rolling down the chutes that's reported in next week's press..

There have got to be some Good Law Enforcers out there watching, though I doubt I've told them much here that they weren't already aware of... Besides, anything of real value would've been neatly excised by my uninvited Editor...*sighs...

Oddly enough I sense there is still a certain amount of interest shown towards the rubbish I'm purported to write... *grins... As there bloody well should be!
The premature ejaculation of my Controller's house alarm while I was still a good three to four feet from the boundary wall, busy shutting my door, was a classic in a string of oops moments given you inadvertently by a now seriously disturbed Wanker...*snorts...
Missus C's hollow protest that no cctv type monitoring exists should be ignored...
It certainly wouldn't aid his string of insurance claims were this to be public knowledge now would it?
My god, but you know Captain Courageous better than that! *roffels..

How on earth could I be capable of inventing such a ludicrous moment?? I flashed into view carrying the tub of livers... The nincompoop saw me via his cctv-type monitoring device and flew into a rage, hitting the key and activating the alarm just one minute too early... *falls over..
All of the Damage control in the world can't undo that classic blooper and surely confirms all that I tell you of my poor, obsessed and sullen Network Admin..

Missus C's dislike (said by many to be hatred) is well-founded... I am the Other Woman after all...*sighs... The One he wakes up thinking about, and the same one he falls asleep to dream of... An unhealthy habit that could lead to early hair loss IMO...*winks...

LATER at 9.10am..

Himself, decked out to the nines, stands up by his open gates begging to be noticed... Bank or hospital IT consultant today? Or neither..?*winks..
After yesterday's reported sighting of his three dogs causing chaos in the morning traffic, I believe it's safe to say they are unfit owners? Missus C, simply because she is too busy to keep a check on her stupid SO's behaviour 24/7, and himself for reasons stated more times than I care to remember...*sad...

I set out to level the playing field and despite my obvious bias, I believe I've achieved that and more..
I've given you the only true picture you're ever likely to see of the typical choice of Controller that will be installed in your neck of the woods...*shrugs... Can I expect anything in return for my unrestrained honesty? (Apart from stepped up attacks, that is?)
voda3g? What's it to be? A complete meltdown? You will happily abandon me as no more than an irritating pest? *sags..
There's been no sign of the tech who last heard, was due to install our new (2nd hand) Pc last Friday..
I've no doubt he follows the orders given him, despite he is probably more than a tad confused poor guy...*smiles.. May I guess that the delay had something to do with the Sullen One next door? *grins..

LATER at 9.16am..

And the BlackHat still stands at the top, determined I should acknowledge him, though this time outside his closed gates... I waved wildly and jumped up and down, and in return he indicated quite clearly that he had armed the alarm at the back... How much overkill he's employed on this fine sunny morning, remains to be seen...*winks...

I'd wager there was an intense conference a deaux (sp) last night and that a plan has been created and designed as always, to fool the gullible (that's you folks BTW)..
Just on 10.00am I sent the Sweeper a text asking her if the property stood empty and she replied smartly in the affirmative... (Which text I judiciously saved though it appears my Outbox Save option is now defunct..*looks at Bali..)
I hear digging nearby as I sit out here in the front garden and am simply too lazy to get up and look... Will I regret this later? *curious...
Not a peep from the animals next door and I've no idea whether they're in or out *sighs.. Can they even reach water to drink? It's a warm one out there today...

LATER at 10.47am..

Stick with me here... Sitting out as I am, I hear Nobby bark and gallop up to the top gates and *boom!* off goes the alarm! *shrieks with mirth... Whether his Shiftyness drove by and activated it for my benefit is of course a pastime not unknown to him at all. I got up off my butt and checked the front and side (where I'm not supposed to look over now) and even went up the top to find three droogs busy clearing the scar in the road below Bernies...(those digging sounds?)

I sent an sms to the Pooper Scooper at about 10.36am to say the alarm was sounding and another a bit later to say I'd checked and all was clear...*grins with glee...
I intend keeping a clear record of the times it goes off for no apparent reason just in case ADT are ever interested...*winks and wags it's wrinkled finger at the Idiotboy...

He dearly wanted me to believe he was toffied up to go out and about this morning.... Why? He's actually going to spend the day driving past his home and setting off the alarm? I need the exercise and am vastly entertained so far... There's really only so many options...
It sounded to me as though Nobby cut across a beam in his wild barking gallop, but hey, we'll have to wait and see...*chokes...
At 11.05am what sounded like four crackers set off and I hear chirruping as someone fiddles with their remote... Then scuffling about down by the kaia as either ADT or my Master do a Cooks Tour. I call out hello and get no reply... At 11.15am another chirrup as Bali tries to reset his new beams...*shrugs..

LATER at 12.15pm

I've been laying back here in the warm winter sun, idly thinking about the billions Telkom is quietly spending on it's fibre optic rollout..
Quietly is of course the operative word...*winks... Check out that fairly arb looking fat black cable that snakes up your streetlight and is bound to the pole by shiny silver bands... How much would you want to bet that buried and protected in the centre of those black cables is the much vaunted hairsbreadth width of a fibre cable? Now if I could only get a prize for that deduction instead of the inevitable smack that you just KNOW is coming my way.... *sighs...

Peace...

---oOo---

Tuesday 2nd June 2009 at 8.31pm....

ROUND & ROUND....

(begun Monday 1st June at 3.50pm.....)

Are we having fun or what?! *choking.... I'd better begin with the Sweeper's kind call this morning around 9.am...
She thoughtfully asked that I not throw bones (?) over at the usual place before she gets home as their new beams were set up three weeks ago and the alarm will go off at the sight of me... She said they only set the alarm when there's nobody home and the maid was off today... Fine...*shrugs...

I managed to get her to drop her charm briefly, before she recovered swiftly and was able to fit the word traumatised at least four times into her conversation for the monitored line.... *keels over laughing... She is in fact fully entitled to be traumatised when ADT call her to say their alarm has gone off... Between Bali and his chommies anything at all could be going on, and the sky's the limit!...*lawls...
I asked that she give ADT my phone numbers (which she has in her possession) and B.Snr's number (which she has in her possession). If the alarm goes off B.Snr can check the front and side his end and I can do the same at the back on my side...Then ADT can call us and save themselves a trip out if it turns out to be simply mon Capitano playing the fool, oops - I mean a false alarm...

Shortly after we finished sparring on the phone, my Good Neighbour called in a state.. Captain Courageous so-precious Twins and Nobby were out on Jan Smuts Highway dodging the rush hour traffic at 7.30am.. She couldn't stop and see if they survived but she was livid....
Bearing in mind that I can't now look over the wall to check if they're there (!) I went up to the garage and looked out of the window. There they were safe and sound... *beams..
I'd successfully thrown their livers down from that vantage point yesterday, and my aim's improving all the time...*curtseys...

I then called Missus C and asked what time she'd left for work, and you could just hear those supersmart cogs turning over! *roffels... The upshot was that none of them seem to give a toss... If someone on the Highway swerves to miss a Twin and gets hurt who will be blamed? Guaranteed it won't be Colin Balliram (though there are still a few neighbours who might testify otherwise)...*nods..
Did the Win-zipped Dynamo hop online and give her version of these events in advance? I would bet my right arm she did! *shrieks with laughter...

On a more sober note... If the Foul King sets up beams at all the spots I look over - how serious is he about keeping his property secure? If I hear a sound and know that nobody is supposed to be home, how am I to check if it's a thief or not? I guess he would rather I didn't in the light of the recent theft of his Rodeo? Am I to just set the alarm off anyways? *grins.. Or should I rather just call poor Missus C each time I hear a suspicious noise?
I remembered finally that I was going out and decided to toss the livers over from a different spot at 3.30pm in case Missus C only got in late from work.
I took the tub, opened the courtyard door and turned round to shut it, when Bali set off the alarm prematurely!!! The delicious anticipation has simply gotten the better of him....!!!
For the benefit of the Monitored landline her Supreme Smartness said 'But how did he see you, he's not home...' *chokes... The same way he always does dear - shows it's finger towards the satellite dish section of his roof, that misses nothing coming in or out of my courtyard door...*laughing fit to bust...

If you think the poor obsessed Sicko could resist putting up tiny cctv type devices you'd surely be the eejit here...

Ah Missus C - you may take your peers for fools, but I can spot a car salesman a mile off...*grins... If the alarm is now set to go off only when no-one's home, what happened on Saturday the 23rd May after 9.30am? All the inside lights were on and the cars parked and yet when Cola started barking shrilly right under their kids bedroom window and I tossed him a biscuit to shut him up - Haibo! The alarm went off...*cackles...
And again the next day at 11.00am a repeat, and yet I was sitting outside the front on that occasion...
C'mon Missus C admit it! You're pandering to a giant baby FFS! *shrieks with mirth...

LATER

It's 6.25pm and the alarm has just gone off AGAIN! *stumped... Does the Chicken Fella mention how often his alarms go off? *grins.. That his neighbours generally don't stir as a result, unless they get a well-timed phonecall to say the Pair are out *winks at the Pooper Scooper...

Tuesday 2nd June at 3.54am..

We will inevitably get back to the previous alarming matters, but meanwhile...

There was better attendance than I'd expected last night in the ridiculously small, but heavily wired Meeting Room... I managed to pip my Chairman to the post for the prime parking spot at our CPF Meeting and had the room to myself for a while...
The Listeners up at Dodge City had the power pumped to the max and both neon strip lights were roaring! *startled... All the better to hear you with my dear? *falls over....

I chatted solo to the pathetic Snoops as they no doubt frantically adjusted their audio levels...*grins at the Saddos... During the Meeting I watched and listened to the Station Representative and thought how easy it would be to like him, and then he promptly proceeded to bring me back to reality with a thud!
See, I brought up the matter (Minuted) of Capt. Murugen saying that Sydenham Heights residents should get up a petition to oust the pathetic bullying dealers that rule the roost in their apartment blocks.
I said that IMO no tenant in their right mind would put their name in print on a petition for fear of reprisals, and that the suggestion was silly...

A few minutes was all it took for the Captain to recall his method-acting classes and trot out the classic "My blood is up" line...*chortles...
I believe he also tossed in the words "attacking the police..." as he threw himself whole-heartedly into his role and proceeded to shoot himself in both feet.
Sure, part of me agrees with his remark that he can't understand why 200 tenants can't take on just one pathetic drug dealer and that he has little sympathy for the residents as a result (probably not his exact words as I sat purple-faced enduring his tirade, but near enough as dammit) *grins..

Was it overlooked that Safer Cities then endorsed what I'd said? *curious.. For all her youth, there sat one smart cookie who is going places if I'm not mistaken....Yours? *winks at Lazzie...
Twas however, the Hugo Road resident that painted the true picture for the Forum... That certain members of the Community, and in particular the unfortunate tenants of Sydenham Heights, had the perception that SAPS Sydenham were in the Druglord's pockets.... Now why couldn't I have said that? *miffed... The truth of course is that I simply can't string two coherent words together as you will already have noticed...
Things then got really interesting...
It turns out the vocal Hugo Road member has recently acquired a new nextdoor neighbour...

An ex-Sydenham Heights tenant who has been carefully installed in this up to now, fairly quiet street near the Convent...*waves to ***** and falls over choking...
Business booming over your way bru? Still working for da man and doing jus fine? (We spoke on the phone this evening and she requested that I not put the hood's name in the Minutes. It goes totally against the grain to delete it here as well, but I suppose needs must when the Devil himself rides...*gags...)

The Hugo Road Forum member has, on her own and without any assistance from my witless self, drawn the attention of the Seriously Wikked...*looks at Lazzie... Will visible patrols step up in the light of her announcement? Will the Dodge City rep put his money where his mouth is and investigate her allegations? Surprise me, why don't you? *grins...
It's too easy for me to say that I think she will instead be targeted for her temerity...
Here's your chance to prove that your injured demeanour at our Meeting wasn't just another Oscar winning performance, but the Real Deal, Laz? *waits with fascination....
The conversations recorded of our little CPF Meetings (those that can be distinguished above the general hubub) are without a doubt edited to suit the Listeners... Brief excerpts will be played back for interested parties who will buy into what they hear with ease...*shrugs..

Pretty much how my blog has been 'managed' all these years, despite the usual vehement denials...*beams at it's Network Administrator...
Let me put it on record here that my offered olive branch has once again been spurned in favour of setting up the house-alarm to go off in areas previously ignored as security breeches (sp)..*cackles.. My little CPF Nokia was hit so hard yesterday it's doubtful it will recover...
Coincidence that this happened on the CPF Meeting day? I think not....

When I insist that ALL movement at either the back or front of our property is already monitored closely by the Pervert, whyTF do you doubt me? *curious.
You've heard repeatedly of his sick obsession and yet you think a Dodge City audit won't reveal the purchase of miniscule cctv-type devices? *laughing... On second thoughts, maybe you're right and maybe they were purchased by the fair Carol on one of her regular trips back East, funded by Earl Michael Barnabas...*grins.. Bingo!?
You forget Rule No. 1 in the second-hand car salesman's guide to BS Missus C? Never kid a kidder...!*shrieks..
Your SO needs counselling (as I type this, I get an error message saying I've lost the connection to blogger.com...unsurprising it is....)
Would any therapist worth their salt not suggest that he take the olive branch offered and GROW UP? *winks and points to the new Trauma facility behind Dodge City, without a doubt also wired to the hilt for maximum listening pleasure...*nauseous...

Would YOU like to print this blog out and deliver it to Sandringham Place, or shall I?

The difference between us is that I have absolutely nothing to hide, while you on the other hand have the entire Muni Wireless/Broadband Network System you wish to keep in the shadows...
This, despite my Controller's determined efforts to publicly bring the entire operation into disrepute before it's properly off the ground...*laughing...

Interesting times? Now THERE'S an understatement! Don't go away just yet....

Peace...

---oOo---

Tuesday 2nd June 2009 at 7.33pm.