THERE WAS A CROOKED MAN.....
Unless corruption in its many guises intrigues you, you will be bored stiff by my scribbles...
A standard brown Muni envelope arrived at our street address yesterday. An unusual pink colour, so I opened it...
On reading the contents, my first thought was one of mild irritation, and then of course the humour kicked in and I chortled helplessly...
The pink missive stated in large print that it was a Warrant for the Arrest of the GameWrecker for failing to appear in court on a minor speeding offence, signed by a Mr. Reddy on behalf of the Head of Metro Police....*snorts...
I confess to the fleeting thought that the GameWrecker had stolen my thunder..... I had already imagined the feel of the cold steel bars up at the holding cells on the Hill, and Mr. Reddy had the nerve to queue jump the GameWrecker! *chokes....WTF!!!?
Anyways - the GameWrecker rang the number given to get the details.... they checked the records which showed that a Metro employee had arrived here on a Saturday with a subpoena which the GameWrecker had refused to sign - hence the Warrant of Arrest.....*Haikona! Bwaahaahaaaa.....
Of course by now, you all know that the property is never left unguarded by either one of us, except on Thursdays when Flo is manning the helm....*beams...
Neither he nor I have ever been presented with a subpoena on a Saturday...
The GameWrecker rang to say that as fate would have it, there was a young lady and her mother directly ahead of him in the queue, (when he went down to Somtseu Road this morning to get more details of his threatened arrest) with the identical situation.
The mother insisted that she is Always home and nobody ever arrived with a subpoena at all....
Metro have already slapped on an extra R100 for Contempt of Court, so a nice little earner there....*looks at Mr. Reddy who signed this flaming bit of corrupted rubbish and wonders....
After a typical Muni run-around and having been directed from pillar to post, the GameWrecker ended up before a Sgnt. Janse van Rensburg, who was clearly perplexed by the whole matter, and who informed my old man that he would get back to him...*cackles..
You still believe that I need to fabricate and embroider, on what you seem to consider must be a boring and lonely life? *falls over laughing...
Is it just that someone at the Metro cops is feeling left out, as they've not had a mention here since the Silver Fox episode? *guffaws...
Who knows, but you have to admit to seeing the humour in the situation...
Yesterday I suggested to Captain Courageous via the audio monitoring system, that I would like to relocate to the Midlands before I am too old or ill to enjoy it.... I suggested that he and his Missus consider purchasing our house instead, or as well as, adding another floor to their property...
Crazy? Not at all....
The houses are already so close to each other it would be a simple matter to connect them if desired...Then he could relax in his role as Emperor of the Valley without fear of being monitored in any way...*toothy grin...
I am actually totally serious here....there are of course, stumbling blocks, but nothing that a Cracker with Incredible Contacts couldn't overcome...*grins..
The GameWrecker would have to be persuaded to take early retirement, but cannot afford to forfeit a penny of his Pension Fund.... I think he still has 2 years to go....
Captain Courageous knows every detail of our finances, as paltry as they are, and if he claims this to be nonsense it is something he can rectify swiftly....*smiles..
So - we are looking for a contact at my old mans company that can be persuaded to offer the GameWrecker a Golden Handshake for diligent service (true), ensuring that he loses nothing financially by taking early retirement.
Another contact to find a modest 2 bedroomed home in Rosetta or Nottingham Road with a large, secure storage area to hold all the GameWrecker's accumulated clutter....and secure parking for the cars...
And there you have it... Not that difficult to do, and you would have your Zone back to run as crookedly as you saw fit...*laughs...
Should my suggestion be met with the ongoing contempt that I have grown used to - no problem....
Without a doubt, I love the Zone and all it's people, and am happy to stay on as the Village Idiot until Fate decrees a change...*beams...
It would be a simple matter to take down my ancient avo tree and erect a driveway and garage there instead. If you recall, we obtained permission to access our property via Mo's little by-road at No. 2, years ago.... we simply never had the finances to follow it up...
Give it some thought and allow Missus Courageous's input... she and I deal very well together.... *smiles...
More peace...
---oOo---
Friday 3rd August 2007 at 1.36pm