THESE FICKLE, FUDDLED WORDS CONFUSE ME....

to: Jacquie Subban, Head of the Muni's Geographic Information & Policy Unit, Ethikwini Municipality, Durban.

Dear Jacquie,

I am thrilled to note that at last, permission has been granted for you to go public with the Big Brother Data Theft scheme.

A wonderful article (previously blogged) and a superb picture of you waiting to garrotte loudmouthed, pesky 'good citizens', has pride of place on my fridge door.

and then, joy of joys, I discover yet another 'public announcement' *chokes...in our free Metro tabloid of 23rd February. You know the one where you trot out the so tired 'affordable access to the internet" line of BS...heheh...

In my top-ranked position as scum-of-the-earth (a title that can be confirmed by such luminaries of anti-corruption as Johan Stolz, long since retired Commander of the Sydenham SAPS, a man whom I would trust with my life, yet who showed remarkable human flaws in making/allowing certain judgement calls while in office), oops, I wandered off the beaten track there heh... ah yes - as chief scum-of-the-earth title holder, I would humbly ask of you and your Master, Mike Sutcliffe (that pillar of honesty, integrity and a time-share owner in Goa), whether you would consider publishing the details of exactly how the Fabbulus Muni Wireless Link-up began and which suburbs were used for the initial tests.

This would be of far greater interest to the public than the party munibabble you have so far been allowed to publish.

What methods of persuasion i.e. sweet deals/gifts were handed out to Sherwood residents encouraging them to hop onto the Wireless train? I can picture Allen Spence's face and his hearty laughter at the mere suggestion of any health risks being involved during the testing period.

Commandeering St. Theresa's Catholic Church/Orphanage was IMO, a stroke of genius.... naturally there will be regular testing done of the EMF levels by the likes of Mike Oliver (of the Ethikwini Electricity Deptartments Security Division) and his roving oscillograph/meter? A man who truly has the welfare of residents at heart....*shrieks with laughter....

I would dearly love to read a published article assuring citizens that the mistakes and fumbling done in 2005/2006 are a thing of the past. I do not however, hold my breath in anticipation of this happening.

Certainly, my wierd so-called 'symptoms' have improved dramatically during the weekdays of late. However, the weekends are another matter entirely. One has only to hear the chirrup of the Ballirams remote and soon after the answering call from Mo Cassim's house at No. 2, to know that more games with the EMF levels will ensue *shakes its buzzing head.....

Of course I am aware that cancer levels are on the increase world wide and that a huge variety of causes can be blamed. The very last thing to be pointed at would be over-exposure to EMF levels... - brilliant strategy there....

I loved the bit, also in Friday 23rds Mercury, on the Pietermaritzburg Muni about to encourage residents to swop their old light bulbs for new ones. That is absolutely CLASSIC and hopefully, the person that came up with the idea (a lightbulb moment indeed!), gets a time-share abroad to compare with our City Manager! It is certainly a cheaper method of gaining the all important access to unsuspecting residents property and electrical systems than has been used here in Sherwood. But we learn from our mistakes heheh...

Hilarious to read that Eskom's Megawatt Park in Johannesburg got so neatly caught out in their own lies....all part and parcel of your wonderful Wireless Link-up right Jacquie? Hopefully the Ethikwini Muni has had many more years of experience in the corruption field and can avoid embarrassing glytches such as this ? *chuckles....

Also worth a mention is how we are being gradually introduced to an imminent electricity and rates increase... a fairly bold move considering the huge amount of lights deliberately left burning 24/7 by your cronies (i do beg your pardon, i meant colleagues) in the Wireless link-up. And I have little doubt that the enormous deliberate water runoffs continue as before.

You are all no doubt vastly entertained and amused at the ease with which your average hard-working and unsuspecting resident can be parted from their money?

Earlier, the air was abuzz with choppers - the Motor Racing? At a cost of approx R3000 per hour to keep in the air, it is comforting to know that at least our Muni does not have a cashflow problem. Was that our little chopper I saw nipping down towards the Berea at 9.00am? Front Row Loge seats I'm betting too....

It looks as though Fred the Accountant at No. 12 moved the Wendyhouse right up against No. 10's wall some time ago. Why? Also his magnificent valley light is back on....as were the Convent Recreation Centre lights in the early hours.

These points of course are of little interest to you Jacquie, and I fully understand that honesty and transparency would not have gotten your smiling face and words published so prominently.

Stay safe.

---oOo---

Sunday 25th February 2007 at 1.41pm.