Saturday, June 03, 2006


In Sherwood on a summer's day, many years before
a Teklom tecchie sat and picked his nose
and dreamed of half past four.
He idly plugged his headset in
as bored as he could be
to a private line at the switchbox
and eavesdropped happily.

Missus Brown told Missus Green her piles were acting up
Mr. Naidu told his wife he'd won the Salesmens Cup.
Missus Ndhlovu asked her maid to cook the chicken wings
and then at last, the tecchie heard more interesting things.

A drug deal going down it was with details he heard clear
so off he rushed to find a cop and into this guys ear
he whispered 'Will you pay me for the info I have here?'

And so began a partnership that got quite out of hand
The teklom Depot had by now acquired quite a band
of eager snitches willing to sell info for a rand.
The Captain got quite sick and tired of running round all day
'You set this up correctly and we will gladly pay'.

So a plan was hatched and a van was snatched
No-one was hurt on that brilliant day
but millions were taken and hidden away.
Shares were sought and houses were bought
money was laundered tho a few men were caught.
The bulk of the money would not be recovered
33.5 million was never discovered.
The suburb was plugged in, the Captain knew all,
(though he couldnt quite predict his own downfall).

And so it was for years and years
the people chatted unawares.
Their lines were bugged they had no clue
that things they said could cause a few
unpleasant matters to ensue.
Yes, crimes were solved and ranks attained
but a Very simple fact remained.
The whole damn Game was against the Law
and the secret must be kept forever more.

It was round about then in a world gone mad
that our Government said 'Theres data to be had'
a mention was made of the Sherwood scheme
and the Patent was bought for a billionaire's dream.
Huge gifts changed hands and wealth untold
as Big Brother's plan began to unfold.

'If we offer them broadband for three hundred rand
the suckers will take it all over the land.
We'll plug in our system and link up our poles
under cover of powercuts we'll hide our real goals.'

So Koeberg was blamed and electricity down
distracting consumers and making them frown.
While Big Brother worked swiftly to link every town,
every city and suburb, every business and shop
would unwittingly dance to the Big Brother Bop.

Toad looks at the Forum and ponders the thought
of how many Members already been bought
to monitor systems for Metro being taught.
Big Brothers lackeys will Never be caught.
For the Good of the Country and all of Mankind
Swallow the medicine and pretend you are blind.

and when one day in the future you see
that the Toad spoke the truth and you're no longer free
spare a thought for the tecchie who sat pickin his nose
from humble beginnings this great plan arose.
Excerpt from Mike Sutcliffs Metro report this week : *Two years ago at a strategic management level we were faced with the need to buy a revenue management package. Developed by a major international software company for industrial settings, this package had already been bought by the Cape Town municipality for over R400 million. Some say they have now spent almost double that amount on developing their system.
We decided not to go that route but instead decided to develop our own system, using local resources but through partnering with an Indian firm, RAMCO, who provided the platform. The solution was developed using Open Source but Microsoft have also decided to partner us in the development of a Windows based system as well.*

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