UP IN FLAMES...
(begun Tuesday 27th September at 5am..)
*Mornin Dominic! *waves......*
The truth isn't much appreciated these days. You're to button your lip, take your knocks, and STFU or else... *eyeroll...
The bugger would've been put on standby the minute I switched my little fan off and packed up to go back inside... Hell, I should know the routine after living next door to a professional Mischief-Maker for over a decade... Ooops! Did I say Mischief-Maker? Ag sorry dude, I meant Special Operative...*chokes...
Righto - So I've changed and it's just after 12 noon, and the GW asks me if I want to use the PC before he shuts down, and I nod, at which point the Droog would've been told to take his marks... I hadn't even signed in to blogger and the little dogs were yapping down by the garden wall... The GW came through to see what the fuss was about and I asked him to call the beasties inside, and to block off the security gate so they couldn't get out..
They came in willingly enough, and peace reigned for a while as I began my laborious efforts at updating my blog.
I can only have been typing for a short while, when I glanced up into the mirror that sits here on the PC tower to see a chap engaging in what looked like the Masai jumping ritual... *blinks... His head bobbed into view over the verandah wall behind me a couple of times, as he jumped up and down trying to get a decent view into the lounge... I gave my standard enraged bellow and went for my pellet gun and the key to unlock the security gate, while the dogs freaked out noisily...*yawns...
Cola in fact, was so incensed by the uninvited intrusion that he went straight through the bars on the kitchen security gate. A skill I didn't know he possessed until now... *beams....
I followed the dogs to where they were shrieking down at Balliram's wall, and put a few noisy shots about the place, but our Controller has several corners down by his servant's quarters that provide instant concealment, so I'd not expected to get lucky when I finally looked over our adjoining wall... *shrugs...
I went back in and finished typing up "Getting away with murder" without further incident though alas, the GW was fairly rattled by the whole thing and cancelled his haircut as a result.. Bear in mind that the chap has only been retired and stay-at-home for a couple of years, so Balliram's engineered mischief-making is something he has yet to get used to....
Russell? Though Balliram hasn't changed his gardeners quite as many times as he changes his domestics, (24 since 1998?), young Russell replaced Philip some time back, and apart from the scripted scuffling about by der Bunker, (previously blogged), that youngster makes himself scarce when I'm around, so he too could've been replaced by now...
I'd rather go with my theory that our Controller keeps a couple of droogs handy down at No. 2, and sees to it they have a roof over their heads in one of the outbuildings that Kasim leases to the pleasant and project-friendly Congolese, Lionel, and his family...
Over the years Nayager and his cronies have made sure they've had their snitches dotted around the area, and prior to the installation of the invisible cameras in the streetlight cowlings, they were a valuable source of information to the Rotten Apples up at Dodge City... *belches...
Nowadays of course, these innocent-appearing chaps can be used to achieve much more than simply informing the bad cops of the comings and goings of neighbourhood residents... Now they can be called out at any time of day or night to shin up a specified lightpole and snip the cable, or to hop over a target's wall to cause mischief while the owners are out...
So ja, I'd go with a quick phonecall to a part-time employee holed up just three doors down at No. 2, where the guy was called and told to hop up onto Balliram's front deck (a simple matter), and over our adjoining wall.. Something he's clearly done several times before, hey Balliram? Practise sure makes perfect..*winks...
Of course you'll have no problem in believing that the Serial Liar was tied up at some important Meeting and therefore wasn't able to run his cameras or his beams to pick up the intruder...
A fabrication that's now par for the course, as my tale of thieves attempting to hijack a guest's vehicle at Mr. A. Singh's function and dropping one of their cellphones in their haste to flee, was more than enough proof that Nayager and Balliram activate the cowling cameras as an aid to crime...
"Do you want this car?" found on the text messaging option by one of the guests, has the thief standing under the streetlight pointing at a specific vehicle, does it not? Clearly the would-be carjackers knew they were live on camera... *shrugs.... So the shrug and the 'we can't be everywhere' excuse will continue to be trotted out and accepted... *gags....
It's something that's happening across the country, and as you're unable to prove or disprove it, you'll take the easier road and believe the many criminally-affiliated Controllers when they sigh and say it was a pity they hadn't activated this or that particular circuit that day, or they may have prevented this or that crime from taking place.. Ja, right! *eyeroll....
As so many of them, like Nayager and Balliram, are actually engineering the crimes in the first place, via the nifty surveillance technology, we're all at the mercy of the Crime Bosses who happily follow the Project Author's brief to increase the level of fear among the population...
LATER at 7.05am
Was that brief visitation yesterday, the end of our Controller's efforts to remind me of the obvious? Not by a long shot...
I was puffing along on the Orbitrek out on the verandah at about 3pm, when the big green Park's lorry crashed and banged it's way along the valley floor below our wall, and set the dogs off again...
At that time of day they'd be collecting their wekkers, though I can't say I'd noticed any droogs working down there since yesterday..*interested...
With hindsight, I imagine the two or three passes it made as it bounced noisily back and forth a few times, were designed to catch my attention...
It didn't deter me from finishing my twenty minutes, and I went inside afterwards and glanced out of the window to see smoke billowing up across under the gumtrees... (you're impressed so far, Dominic?) The noisy crackling of flames followed soon afterwards..*eyeroll massivus...
Predictable creature that I am, Balliram had seen to it that I got no joy in my hasty attempts to contact Manisha Arbuckle at the Parks Department.. When I was finally fortunate enough to have the line answered, it was dropped deliberately, twice in a row... *blinks... By that time there were as many as 8 to 10 Parks uniforms scrambling about the bluff HERE, while the driver of the lorry stood about watching.. A tall bloke, head and shoulders above the rest, his shaven head put him at over 40 with his attempts to hide the incoming grey hairs a dead give-away...*winks...
The Freeway end of the little bluff was already ablaze, and I watched as a straggling line of droogs staggered up the steep slope this end, while one of them (in civvies?) lugged a large and now obviously empty, plastic container back to the lorry... HERE..
Bear in mind that it's now well after 3pm and I've no way of knowing whether it's a controlled burn, or whether they were going to simply hit the road and leave the flames burning... (Just kidding guys..*winks). They loaded up the lorry and left at 3.30pm, as the fire still crackled noisily across the way....
That'll teach me hey Balliram? Except of course that it's an ongoing lesson I decline to learn... *shrugs... By 3.15pm I'd called a member of our CPF, who just happens to be a Fire-fighter... *beams... I filled him in and he said he'd sort it out. The fire truck arrived some time after the Park's lorry had left, and the chap said the fire was still burning fiercely at the Freeway end of the bluff, so it wasn't a wasted call-out...
See now Balliram - With your cleverly engineered mischief... Where does this put young Manisha Arbuckle, who is officially in charge of the Parks wekkers for this area? Does it make the unfortunate woman appear powerless to control the behaviour of the staff she is paid to manage, and is she indeed merely a decorative ornament, while the majority of Parks droogs answer to the Curry Mob's directives? How embarrassing for her... *sighs...
I brought those engineered theatrics up at last night's CPF Meeting and will attempt to see that Ms. Arbuckle receives a copy of the Minutes, not that anything will come of the matter, as we were subsequently informed that one Jabulani is the Overseer for Parks in the area... No other name, just Jabulani... How reassuring that is.. NOT. *winks.... I shall therefore, if you don't mind, stick with Manisha Arbuckle as the fall-guy for now, and well done to Colin P. Balliram for once again bringing her good name into the spotlight... *applauds...
If Manisha and Wayne von Bart are offended in any way by their ongoing guest-appearances here on my blog, they could do a lot worse than join me in my efforts to have this goonda thug of an Area Controller relocated to Outer Mongolia... Or not...*shrugs..
Have a good one, and peace julle..
---oOo---
Published on Tuesday 27th September 2011 at 10.12am.
